Maus Reflection for DEEEP thinkers ONLY!!!! (WARNING: This book is NOT for the faint of heart.)

     On December 5th, Florida’s attorney general made a statement that public libraries were “a forum for government speech,” as opposed to “private (free) speech”. She made this point with the intention of allowing the government to remove any texts from the library that they wanted.

    You must be happy (happier) now that you don’t live in Florida, but that’s not the reason why I bring this up. Book banning is becoming America’s new favorite past-time. If you still believe that literature is for dorks, look how much of a big deal it is becoming now. Half of the adult population hasn’t finished a book (for leisure purposes) in on average 23 years (source: ___), yet everyone still seems to have a stance on the book-banning phenomenon.

    As an example, imagine the worst text you could possibly imagine. Something that is racist, sexist, offensive specifically to your kind of background, encouraging to its readers to commit crimes and dangerous acts, and is full of lies and stupidity in general. And it just so happens to be an up and coming worldwide bestseller. Would you agree to ban this book?

    The obvious answer is yes, of course you would, if you value your own dignity and place in society. But the more you think about it, due to the Streisand effect, banning the book will only give it more publicity. Uh-oh.

    I’m not implying that the banning of books is justified, just that there is different quality that exists in literature. And that if a book falls below YOUR personal standard, you might PERSONALLY find that it should be banned. And you would be right and wrong because all you’re doing is following your own self-interest.

    The problem arises from the fact that it isn’t fair for one person’s personal interest to dictate everyone else’s, but I don’t care about that. What I care about is “Maus” (by Art Spiegelman): should it be brought back? Or should it be sent to the dark abyss of hell?

    First question — will reading this book make me a Nazi?

    Answer: No, but it will make everyone around you think you are, because the book you are reading has a giant swastika on the cover. They might also think you’re a furry. Way to spice up the family drama! One point for Maus.

    Second question — is Maus educational?

    Answer: Trust me, Maus is in absolutely no way educational. Even though it may seem like it from the beginning, trust me that Maus is a horrible “how to survive a genocide” tutorial. Spiegelman leads you to believe Vladek and Anja will make it out of the holocaust safe and sound, but then proceeds to bombard you with present-day Vladek’s mental issues and Anja’s suicide as a result of their trauma and guilt from the war? There are probably a ton of poor Palestinians right now looking for some guidance on how to escape their current situation, and you couldn’t even bother to give them that? Not to mention all the horrible animal anatomy in this book. The book is called “Maus”, and yet the characters all have the bodies of humans? What, were you trying to make readers believe that mouse and person are one and the same? You had one job, Spiegelman! Next time you try to draw something “informative”, pick up a biology textbook. Point for the book banners.

    Third Question — will reading Maus have a positive effect on your livelihood?

    Answer: Hahahaha. Now this is the worst one yet. Cover your eyes, children, because I’m about to describe how reading Maus by Art Spiegelman has ruined my entire life for good.

        1. Everyone knows that cartoons are for stupid people. “Reading” the stories of the silly cartoon mice     has dropped my IQ by at least a factor of 4, almost as unintelligent as the average person. Uhh, novels? Do you have something a little less dense? Actually, I think I’ll just watch the movie.

        2. The printing of the books is wrong. Um, I’ve read manga before. I know the pages are supposed to be right to left. If Spiegelman wants to appropriate eastern culture so bad that he published his manga a solid 5 years before anyone even cared about the medium, at least get it right. Imagine my surprise when Speigelman’s “self insert character” calling his own dad a “murderer” was supposed to be the LAST page of the book? Not only do I have to dumb myself down to read your “book”, but now I have to read it in the wrong orientation just to appease you? Could you make it any more obvious how you try to humiliate your readers?

        3. Circles, circles, circles! Every time I get out of the house to forget about this stupid book I somehow come across a circle, whether it be from a road sign, interior decor, the moon, whatever. And, as shown in the books, CIRCLES = NAZIS! Now I’ve become a conspiracy theorist convinced that the Nazis are following me wherever I go. Unrepairable damage. I hope you’re happy, Spiegelman. 

    TL;DR: No, point to book banners.

    Fourth Question — Is Maus “good literature”?

    Answer: This one is easy. Spiegelman says it himself in his 2nd book,

         “I feel so inadequate trying to reconstruct a reality that was worse than my darkest dreams”.

    Well, there you have it. Spiegelman practically calls the book “inadequate”. Is reality really that complex, or are you just stupid? Or maybe you’re attempting to verbalize how much the trauma of your parents has been passed down to you and consumes your every waking moment and that nothing you do will ever be enough to cope with the trauma? While that might make sense, remember this is the guy who can’t tell the difference between a mouse and a human. Point to the book banners.

    Alright, in the end, I have determined that…drumroll please….

    Maus deserves to be banned for all of eternity!!!!!

    Thank you, all, for joining me on this journey of love, literature, and self discovery, of mice, and of men. Remember to stay in school, don’t do drugs, don’t read silly comics about mental illness, and have fun.